Sometimes silence is your strongest strategy.
by Steve Neifing | Updated Nov 22, 2025
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Have you ever shared a big plan with someone—only to lose steam and never follow through? It happens more often than you think.
Studies reveal that announcing your goals prematurely can trick your brain into feeling like you’ve already achieved them, robbing you of the motivation to actually do the work.
This is where the power of “Zipping It” comes in. By keeping your goals private and personal details undisclosed until the time is right, you protect your energy, motivation, and focus.
You also avoid judgment, envy, and unsolicited advice that can derail progress.
Why Oversharing Kills Motivation
Oversharing is one of the biggest silent killers of productivity.
Here’s why:
- False Sense of Accomplishment: When you announce a goal, your brain releases dopamine—the same chemical you get from achieving it. That false reward lowers your drive to actually follow through.
- External Pressure: Once others know, their expectations can weigh heavily. This can cause anxiety, self-doubt, or even shame if plans change.
- Risk of Envy or Sabotage: Not everyone wants you to succeed. Sharing too much too soon can open doors to negativity.
- Flexibility Loss: Keeping quiet allows you to pivot and adjust without the fear of people saying, “What happened to that thing you were working on?”
Bottom line: Silence creates space for growth without distraction.
Story 1: The Marathon Talker
Take the story of a man who announced he was going to run a marathon. He told his coworkers, posted it all over social media, and soaked up encouragement.
But here’s the problem—he never actually trained properly. The praise from talking about his goal gave him enough satisfaction to slack off.
Race day came, and he wasn’t ready. He dropped out halfway through, humiliated and discouraged.
If he had zipped it, trained in silence, and let his results speak for themselves, the story might have ended differently.
👉 Lesson: Talking about your goals can feel like progress, but it often replaces the hard work required to actually achieve them.
Why We Overshare (And How to Stop)
Oversharing usually comes from emotional triggers:
- Seeking validation: Wanting approval or applause.
- Stress relief: Talking eases anxiety but leads to regret.
- Insecurity: Venting to cover up self-doubt.
- Trauma responses: Using words as a coping mechanism.
- Approval seeking: Sharing to hear “good job,” but exposing vulnerabilities in the process.
The fix? Build self-awareness. Before sharing, pause and ask: Am I telling this to help me—or to get attention?
What Nosy Questions Really Reveal
Sometimes it’s not you oversharing—it’s other people digging. When someone asks too many questions, it usually reflects their issues, not yours.
- Insecurity: They ask to fill gaps or compare themselves.
- Control tendencies: They want leverage or influence.
- Confirmation bias: Fishing for answers that align with their assumptions.
- Boundary issues: Not realizing they’re overstepping.
👉 When people pry, remember—it says more about them than it does about you.
Story 2: The Quiet Entrepreneur
Now let’s flip the script. A woman I know built an online business entirely in secret. For a full year, she didn’t tell her closest friends or family. She kept her head down, worked in silence, and protected her vision from outside noise.
When she finally shared what she had built, it wasn’t just a plan—it was a reality. Instead of skepticism, she was met with admiration. The same people who might have doubted her were now asking, “How did you do it?”
Her silence was her superpower. She didn’t waste time defending her dreams—she simply showed results.
Final Thought
The next time you feel the urge to spill your plans, pause. Ask yourself: Does this move me forward—or does it drain me?
If it drains you, zip it. Protect your goals until they’re strong enough to stand on their own.
And if you’re serious about building something real—something that doesn’t just stay in your head but turns into actual income—check out the AI Business Builder Challenge.
It’s the step-by-step path I recommend for anyone over 40 looking to start an online business with confidence. Start here → https://bit.ly/4e4iQRb
FAQ: The Power of Keeping Your Goals Private
1. Should I tell people my goals or keep them private?
Most of the time, you’re better off keeping big goals private until you’ve built some momentum. Sharing too early can trick your brain into feeling like you’ve already achieved something, which kills the motivation to actually do the work.
2. Why does talking about my goals kill motivation?
When you talk about a goal, you get a little hit of approval, praise, or excitement—and your brain reads that like a “mini win.” That fake sense of progress often replaces the boring, consistent actions that actually create results in your life and business.
3. Is keeping my goals private the same as being secretive?
No. Keeping goals private is about strategy, not hiding. You’re not lying or being sneaky—you’re protecting your focus, energy, and direction from opinions, judgment, and envy that you don’t need while you’re still building.
4. How do I decide who I can safely share my goals with?
Ask yourself two questions:
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Does this person actually want me to win?
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Do they have the mindset or results I respect?
If the answer is “no” or “I’m not sure,” keep it light. Share details only with people who are proven encouragers, not quiet saboteurs.
5. How can I handle nosy questions without being rude?
You don’t owe anyone your plans. You can say things like:
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“That’s personal, I’d rather not discuss it.”
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“Things are going well, thanks for asking.”
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“I’ll share more once it’s further along.”
Then redirect: “What about you—what are you working on lately?” You protect your privacy and avoid drama at the same time.
6. What does this have to do with starting an online business over 40?
If you’re building an online business over 40 or a side hustle over 40, you’re already fighting doubt—from yourself and from other people. The more you talk, the more opinions you invite. Building in silence lets you learn, test, and pivot without everyone asking, “So… how’s that little online thing going?”
7. But what if I need accountability to stay consistent?
You don’t have to pick one or the other. Share your goals with 1–2 trusted people or a small, supportive community—not the entire internet and every relative. Get accountability in private, and let the results be public later.
8. What if people get offended that I won’t share details?
That’s their issue, not yours. You’re allowed to have boundaries. Anyone who takes your privacy personally is showing you exactly why you shouldn’t have shared with them in the first place.
9. When is the right time to talk about my goals?
Talk when you have proof, not just plans. Share once you’ve started taking consistent action, made progress, or reached a milestone: first sale, first client, first video published, first month of income. Let your work speak first—then your story lands with a lot more weight.
Written by Steve Neifing
Steve Neifing is a digital marketing expert who helps individuals over 40 break free from the 9-5 grind and build successful online businesses. With a focus on affiliate marketing, email marketing, and content creation, Steve provides actionable strategies and valuable insights for those looking to achieve financial freedom. His mission is to empower others with the tools, knowledge, and confidence to transform their skills into sustainable online income. Connect with Steve for step-by-step guidance on your entrepreneurial journey.
This post includes affiliate links. If you purchase, I may earn a commission.
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